How to Chase "Unrealistic" Dreams + Actually Achieve Them
Happy 2020, everyone! As the new year begins, I know everyone is talking about goals. And because I love this topic so much and want to see you succeed, I will walk you through on how to chase unrealistic dreams and actually achieve them.
First things first. Always practice and try on different techniques to set goals. Because there isn't one way that will work for everyone. This is key to figuring out a system that will work for you.
In this blog post, I will be sharing a system that has worked amazing for me thus far. I've adjusted it throughout the years to work even better, and this has helped me achieve bigger goals.
Here are my seven steps to planning out and achieving goals. Seven might seem like a lot but I promise you it's not. It will actually SAVE you time in the long run because if you don't take the time upfront to plan...this quote will come to fruition; If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Seven Steps Towards Setting Goals and Making Them Happen
1. Go through what you DON'T want
Asking ourselves what we want is easy. There are so many things we want in our lives, right? But it's amazing how quickly we also know exactly what we don't want. And it can have an amazing effect. Because once you know what you don't want, you will do everything you can to achieve the opposite effect, a positive one that actually gets you to what you do want.
For example:
I don't want to feel like shit after I eat.
I don't want to feel weak and unfit.
I don't want to take on projects that don't excite me.
I don't want to be disorganized.
I don't want to be inefficient with my spending.
I don't want to lose touch with family and friends.
So now that I have those in place, it's so much easier for me to clearly realize what I have to do. I feel so passionate about making sure I don't have those feelings again. That means I have to set goals that will achieve the opposite effect.
2. Write out what you DO want
Now that you know what you don't want, write out everything you do want. At this stage, it's important to brain dump. Don't count how many things you are writing out because you will be able to go through, organize and sift through what's important and what can be left for another time later.
It is important to reflect on all aspects of your life. It used to be so easy for me to only set work goals but personal goals are important as well. Make sure that everything is well-balanced.
3. Create SMART goals
SMART is an acronym. Set goals that are:
Specific
Measurable
Adventurous
Relevant
Time-based
James Wedmore, who you guys know I love, has gone a step further and encourages us to create SMART-D goals, where the D stands for “detach”.
A specific goal has to be clearly defined - have a date attached to it or perhaps your goal weight or anything like that. A measurable goal needs statistics. An adventurous goal has to scare the fuck out of you and make you uncomfortable because if it doesn't make you uncomfortable, you're not growing and without growth you won't achieve those big dream goals, right? Relevant goals have to be relevant to where you are in your life - if you made $50'000 this year, the next step would be to make $100'000 before you dream of making $50 million. Time-based goals need to have a timeline.
So, what does “detach” mean?
An example that comes to mind is when people say, “Oh, I just really want to be in a relationship.” If this need becomes so strong that it radiates desperation and sadness, it gets even harder to attract that other person. And it's not happening because there is a dependency on this need and this dependent energy is so strong that it's easy to get in the mindset of, “I'll only be happy once I get this.” But what the universe really wants us to figure out is how to be happy on our own and only when we're at peace with ourselves, we can be ready to receive that energy we want to attract.
I remember this has happened to me, too. I'd get out of a relationship thinking, “I'm going to be single, I just need to be on my own for a bit, I don't need anyone.” And then - boom! Right away, I'd meet someone.
Or if your goal is to make $100'000 next year. If that's your goal but you keep focusing all your energy on checking your bank account and sales all the time, thinking, “Oh, this couple didn't book me,” then you're sending out nervous, anxious energy and that's what you're going to get back. It's like a cycle. However, once you come to a point where you can say, “I know I will get there, I don't know how but I believe I'm going to get there because I'm going to put in the work,” then that kind of energy will flow back to you instead of the anxious kind.
It is so important to detach from the outcome, you guys!
What's the opposite of a SMART goal?
Let's look at an example of a bad goal, a goal that isn't SMART.
A bad goal is saying, “I want to book more weddings than I did in 2019.” See? There's nothing SMART about it. It's not specific at all. What does “more” mean?
A SMART goal would be saying, “I want to book 30 weddings at an average of $4000 in 2020.”
Do you see the difference?
And this has been a huge game-changer for me because I used to say, “This year I'm gonna lose weight.” And that's it. And guess what? It didn't happen.
Create SMART goals and I promise, you will see a difference!
I stick to 10 SMART goals per year and I suggest you choose a manageable number, too. If it's more than 10, it just gets too overwhelming and 10 is a great number because there are four quarters in a year and that's 2.5 goals per quarter and that's very manageable.
4. Segregate your goals
This is a step I created in my own system. I realized that I needed to segregate my 10-per-year goals into work and personal goal categories. This way I'm able to put the goals in two different columns and apply two different techniques for keeping track of both.
To explain this better, I will give you an example of my personal and work goals for 2020.
My personal goals for 2020 are:
On weekdays eat clean and indulge on weekends
Stay at a consistent weight of 124 lbs
Stick to budgets allocated in 2020
Meditate for a minimum of 10 minutes for 365 days
Skype grandparents once per month
Create personal photo albums from teenage years throughout my twenties
My work goals for 2020 are:
4000 email subscribers by October 31, 2020
Book 35 weddings at an average of $6000 each in 2020
Make $400'000 from my outsourcing course in 2020.
These goals are adventurous to me and scare the shit out of me. I have no idea how it's going to happen, I just know that I can learn throughout the process and take action to get there.
But hey, there's a goal missing, right? Six plus three equals nine and I said I had 10 goals per year, didn't I? Well, there's one goal that fits under both categories and that's to be in integrity with myself. And what it means is that I will be in integrity with myself every step of the way. So if I say I will Skype my grandparents once per month, I will be in integrity with myself and make that happen. And that goes for the work goals, too. Being in integrity with yourself is such a huge thing that will let you see a difference because once you hold yourself accountable to your goals and take action, that's when you stop being overwhelmed and start seeing results.
The reason I create categories and segregate my goals is that I use the Full Focus Planner to keep track of my work goals. Every single day it asks me what are my three daily tasks to work on.
For personal goals, I use an app on my phone called Habitty.
This system allows me to stay focused and not get overwhelmed by both my work and personal goals. This way I can keep track of both without getting them mixed up.
5. Divide your goals into quarters
I already mentioned the Full Focus Planner that I use and it has helped me so much. Each planner focuses on 90-day segments because there are four quarters in a year. So there's a planner for every quarter. And having that has been so amazing because when I had a planner for the whole year, it would just be too much and I'd drift away from being focused.
So in every planner, I write out my 10 annual goals and my goals for the particular quarter. Then I write out my key motivations and next steps for achieving each of the quarterly goals as well as the reward. Every week on Sunday I write out three actions for the coming week that keep me aligned with achieving my goals.
I mentioned one of my work goals previously - have 4000 email subscribers by October 31, 2020. This is how I'd break it up into quarters.
For the first quarter, my goal would be to have 1333 subscribers by March 31 as that's the end of the first quarter. Then the next quarter would be to get to 2666 subscribers by June 30. And then have 4000 subscribers by September 30 and 5000 by December 31. As you can see, I've added an extra 1000 subscribers because October 31 goes into the fourth quarter and I want to reach for the stars.
This way I can set actionable steps for each quarter and track my progress. I can see what worked and what didn't in each quarterly review and adjust accordingly.
6. Schedule
If it's not on the calendar, it's not happening.
One of my personal goals for 2020 is to Skype my grandparents every month. I want to make sure I schedule it ahead of time and I want to do it now, starting from January. Because guess what? If I don't schedule it now, then every day, week, and month I could be thinking, “Oh, well maybe today, maybe next week…”
If I schedule it now for, say, every first Monday of the month then it takes me literally 10 minutes now and then it's done. And even if I have to reschedule, I can do that and make sure it's still planned out.
And this goes back to being in integrity with yourself. Once you plan something and hold yourself accountable to it because it's already mapped out on your schedule, it sets you up for success.
7. Review your goals daily and weekly
Every week on Sunday I list three big things in my Full Focus Planner that I need to accomplish the coming week. And then every night, before the next workday I write down my top three daily things I need to do the next day.
I also like to schedule things like, say, wake up at 8 AM, have breakfast and go for a walk, then 9 AM write out the podcast episode, 10 AM record the podcast etc. This has also been a game-changing thing for my productivity because instead of waking up and thinking, “So what will I be doing today?” I already have everything mapped out.
Of course, nobody's perfect and things don't always happen according to the plan but it's important to train yourself into planning and reviewing. And I cannot stress the importance of reviewing enough!
Remember - if it's out of sight, it's out of mind!
Daily and weekly reviews allow you to stay focused and not get overwhelmed. You have the power each day to do one small task that gets you closer to your weekly victories and closer to your big goals.
Key Takeaways and Worksheet
I've created a worksheet that will help guide you throughout this process of chasing your dreams and actually achieving them. Grab the worksheet, get a drink, and just take a couple of hours to really go through self-reflection and make sure you set goals for yourself. It's so doable, you guys!
Taking time to do this is so empowering because you'll have so much more clarity for the next year and you'll feel more energized and motivated instead of feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I remember that feeling so well - if I feel like I have no direction, I can easily go down some dark paths, at least that's what used to happen when I was younger. And I am so thrilled to see this personal development and I'm grateful for making this change and learning how to set goals and actually make them happen.
We all just want to have a purpose in our life, right? We all want to grow and be the best versions of ourselves.
There is a part of us that knows where we need to be and understands where we really want to go. There is a place in us that has the map, even if our eyes and conscious mind can't see it, can't figure it out. If you're spinning in circles, feeling lost and confused, trying to figure out where you need to be - stop, breathe deeply! And look around. You're right where you need to be. Maybe you've been there all along. Sometimes we chase things so hard but it's nice to pause, look around, and be grateful.
Grab that worksheet below and get the ball rolling!
Love you guys and thank you so much for reading!
with love + gratitude,
Sara Monika
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